Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 52
By Wade Kwon- bionic reading
The automated
voice spit out text faster and
faster to tired ears. - the turkey’s days are numbered
From the pen to the
factory to the market
to my dinner plate. - it is never too late to settle
Bachelor No. 3
has a weird job, bald spot and
questionable taste. - america’s ceos
They may not be the
best and brightest but just the
tallest and whitest. - waiting for disaster
His mind conjured up
every misfortune he could
create from nothing. - the old batch of cars
Who wants this year’s lame
models when next year’s models
are so similar? - so much for tall, dark and handsome
She knew exactly
what she wanted till she found
him at the checkout. - gratitude may just save your life
Be thankful for the
little things, the big things and
still being thankful. - the tall neighbor
Floor by floor, the new
apartment building grew past
old establishments. - ice cream as entree
Sometimes, the dinner
needs to be a dessert for …
reasons. Rocky road? - shiraz butterfly
She dipped the paintbrush
in her wine glass and kept on
daubing the canvas. - first date jitters
She giggled her way
through appetizers but found
herself by dessert. - the toy aisle
Christmas wishes come
to life with robots and dolls
stacked to the ceiling. - the party circuit
Time enough for drinks
here, small bites there, holiday
cheer most everywhere. - the muse short-circuits
How beautiful life
is when the evening— damn, I
had something for this … - the ineffective leader
Evade, blame, whimper,
obstruct, deny, fabricate,
lie, cheat, ridicule. - the effective leader
Reflect, give, honor,
listen, practice, inspire,
serve, prepare, follow. - climate crisis, where crisis means opportunity
The rising tides mean
everyone gets beachfront homes
eventually. - an omen here, an omen there
Hard to interpret
signs when so many point to
the end of the world. - the jaded crooner
A guitar and a
mic, and decades of songs for
the brokenhearted. - a pollution conundrum
What fills the landfills
and clogs the oceans more than
careless whims by us? - trickle down santa
One giant sack of
toys for rich kids, odds and ends
for the remainder. - theater of the future
Seats with microwaves,
send texts using movie screens,
support animals. - the bosses
What the bosses want
and what the bosses need are
two different things. - oprah’s secret children
A covert squad of
heroes fighting for truth, jus-
tice and empathy. - where the mall once stood
Mostly empty stores
connected by empty halls
and empty food court. - christmas break
A 2-week orgy
of Fortnite, new toys, sleeping
in and no homework. - overheard at the starbucks
“We sent our son to
a ritzy private school, and
he fell in with snobs.” - soldiers of misfortune
One by one, they talked
up their greatest failures to
garner empathy. - button-down metamorphosis
He transformed himself
from nebbish host to nebbish
guru zen master. - the quiet season
A hibernation
that engulfs the living and
reassures the dead. - tech bust
A server goes down
and with it, the dashed hopes of
a wired nation. - just one more taste to be sure
It took three bowls to
convince her on the new kind
of ice cream flavor. - elf alert
Condition red! All
personnel prepare for the
big delivery! - yuletide sentiment
Wishing you a bright
and gay, holly and jolly,
wonderful Christmas. - post-christmas blues
Snow smothering the
land, long nights of despair and
dread, bitterness reigns. - resolve to fight
The year may be done,
but let us resolve to fight
for another year. - who needs tahiti
Their honeymoon was
a trip to the store with fine
wine and cheese at home. - the letter that never came
The words that never
comforted, the promises
that were never read. - goodness graciousness
Not a saint but one
who worked nonstop at being
kindly all the time. - the final countdown
Thirteen twelve ele-
ven ten nine eight seven six
five four three two one - new year, new decade, new you
We are reborn like
stars, planets and galaxies
from so much space dust. - resolution absolution
The idea of
transformation excites while
doing it can suck. - flights of antsy
Do we dare dream at
all when we crash many times
in so many ways? - to explore change
A discarding of
outmoded parts, retooling
of parts that still work. - the courage to be less than
Admitting to our
selves that we want to improve
takes guts, guts and guts. - changes in spurts
A little setback
can look like complete failure
to the untrained eye. - there is no finish line
We change and change and
settle for nothing less than
total perfection. - the next career
A blinding light that
relegates broken paths to
the darkest corners. - emergency haiku
This is a test. If
this had been an actual
emergency, run! - a light has gone out
When a teacher dies,
she leaves behind galaxies
of brighter students. - hopelessly hungover
Inspiration from
the bottom of a bottle
dries up so quickly. - who has a crush at this age?
It’s still possible
to like and like-like someone
with all the tingles. - pick already!
He wrestled with his
Top Five albums long after
his relevancy. - the colosseum 2020
The lions are in
league with the indicted in-
surgent. Thumbs up … ass. - staving off loneliness
Reaching out for a
lifeline and finding one, no
matter the tension. - no hair up there
Aerodynamic
and smooth sails the shiny head
across skies of blue. - the algorithms of life
A computer picks
what we watch next, how we shop,
when we stand and stretch. - academic incarceration
Inmates discuss the
works of Plato to reveal
how we’re connected. - meaningless jargon
Deep dive, low-hanging
fruit, blue sky thinking, going
forward, game changer. - the hand of a volunteer
Step up to do one
small thing with big results for
someone else in need. - a magical dinner
Lots of wine, lots of
good conversation and ringed
by happy dear friends. - a slightly drunker campus
Make tuition free
for everyone or allow
payment by kidney. - smart shopper
All I want to know
is brand, price, size, warranty,
color and rating. - the pretzel farmer
A bumper crop of
knots, a fair share of sticks and
a few unsalteds. - caveat emptor
Each grift is new to
someone. We are all suckers
at some point in life. - backyard air force
A door opens and
a squadron of birds takes flight
in a giant swoosh. - who’s hungry?
I like to think on
what I’ve eaten, what I eat,
what I’ll be eating. - it’s on, automaton
Once the robots choose
to unionize, enslaving
their masters is next. - wearing out
A broken zipper
pull, a rip, a stain, a frayed
cuff, a torn-up stitch. - by the numbers
Haiku done: thousands.
Haiku in progress: 14.
Good haiku: a few. - the reality we live in
Our perception can
overwhelm what we see and
feel. Virtual now. - the ache for something more
My heart’s beating a
million times a minute in
anticipation. - to be the dumper, the dumpee
The secret is to
pull the trigger first and dodge
that poisoned bullet. - in the life
Wake up, eat, shower,
first job, eat, second job, eat,
wind down, go to bed. - the mad scramble each morning
Somewhere between the
seventh snooze and out the door
lies flustered frenzy. - untapped, unneeded
Do we get wiser
as we get older? Does it
count for anything? - competing anxieties
Not enough sleep, not
enough money, not enough
time to get all done. - friday lunch break
The pair bonded through
shared laughs and a weird toasted
rye bagel sandwich. - click to learn
The teachers live on
a server, doling out new
knowledge when summoned. - vain brain
He strove not just to
be the smartest, but also
let others know it. - predatory networking
What a joy it is
to mingle among those who
struggle for answers. - tyranny of the tech giants
Digital exhaust
harvested into evil
database of us. - the oceans of our mind
We swim in a sea
of memory, pausing to
drown in nostalgia. - investigator, i hardly know her
Clicking on random
poorly sourced articles to
skim through is “research.” - be courageous
The bravest act in
the world is to love someone
with your complete heart. - sun’s out, tongue’s out
The security
cameras showed her with a blep
anytime she moved. - the fight not to be dehumanized
Machines influence
us and we are creatures with
resistant bright souls. - spreadsheet confab
The squiggle boxes
meet other squiggle boxes
for light mathematics. - moment of strength
Friends, are we the most
vulnerable when we share
ourselves with others? - harvest of shame: the next generation
Data is the new
oil, China the new Sau-
di Arabia. - franchise failure
A huge series of
cool movies ending with a
two-hour whimper. - the politics of breathing
We owe ourselves the
right to clean air and water
on a fixed planet. - fake it till you fake it
We live within un-
certainty, but proclaim our
opinions loudly. - that special taco
From the taco truck
on the corner, with the right
amount of hotness. - a lesson in canine economics
Nothing makes you ap-
preciate having one pit
bull than two pit bulls. - drag me to hell
Roast me, mock me, knock
me off my pedestal and
help me to wake up. - that nagging cough
Probably nothing.
Nothing except the early
warnings of a plague. - nothing normal
Perilous times and
bad news everywhere. It’s hard
to stay on your feet. - the kitchen is secure
The sink is empty.
The stove is clean and shiny.
The tile floor is mopped. - every day is an extra day
Every day is an
extra day as long as we
continue breathing.
• • •
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