Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 51
By Wade Kwon- anna karenina
Socialite becomes
outcast after her extra-
marital affair. - people are strangled
Do we really know
the struggle behind the eyes
of each one we meet? - gunfireworks
Nearby, shots ring out,
or maybe firecrackers
cracking. The dog’s scared. - the waiting area
Uneasy chairs and
cold coffee for those who need
the doctor’s report. - love the right way
Without prejudice.
Without fear and without end.
Without boundaries. - trash godzilla
The garbage monster
left the ocean to conquer
the garbage nations. - words to diet by
“Nothing tastes as good
as skinny feels,” said no one
ever while croaking. - deactivating activists
The bystanders coughed
up a medal or two while
hailing fascism. - the manly art of reading
The page judges you
as you skim chapters looking
for symbolism. - and in the comments, too
Every unhappy
fan is unhappy in his
own way on Twitter. - not in their corner
The round-top muffins
tasted better than square tops,
the tongue decided. - messages in bottles
“Too long — didn’t read.”
“Void where prohibited by
law.” “Send more bottles!” - your data is for sale
I am _____ years old.
I spent $_____ on food this year.
My password is _____. - the awkwardness of it all
Speaking when not quite
ready. Answering the wrong
question. Spilling tea. - some days are better than others
She misses him some-
thing fierce, because he left with-
out saying goodbye. - one-sided correspondence
He replied to all
the cards and letters with guilt
and lame excuses. - historical fiction vs. creative nonfiction
Not every verse is
autobiographical,
he said with a smirk. - the 21st-century schoolhouse
The teacher asked them
to open their iPads to
page 57. - tandem effort
One partner thrived in
the spotlight, while the other
shone on in private. - lots of sugar, or lots and lots of sugar?
They argued over
who made the better sweet tea
while eating takeout. - the hottest summer ever
The hottest summer
ever is always one more
tomorrow away. - a meditation on work
What is toil worth?
How long must we toil on?
Why do we toil? - acceptable toppings for ice cream
Whipped cream, chocolate chips,
cereal, pretzels, trail mix,
sprinkles (not jimmies). - in verse uni verse
Poetry can be
found everywhere, in fleeting
murmurs, in soft coos. - inopportunity zone
That storefront contains
the Bermuda Triangle
of failed restaurants. - farmers market finds
Do they really grow
turquoise jewelry and clay
pottery on farms? - imitation is the sincerest form of thievery
Who needs artistry
when the market will copy
anything for bucks? - let it bleed
Each verse should cut deep,
reveal flaws, scream truths and make
the poet squirmy. - i once knew love
I once knew love and
recklessly chased it away.
It was sabotage. - start strong, finish maybe
A show never has
to die, just be born again
into another. - frankenstein
The real monster is
the doctor, or the monster,
or maybe it’s us. - pug one and pug two
Ever vigilant,
they bark and yap at me: “Flee,
stranger among us!” - i ran a half-marathon
But really I walked
around a flat track for 4
hours in blue jeans. - the correspondence game
I owe my college
friend many letters. But I
have failed mightily. - the loneliness of modern adulthood
With real jobs and real
families and no one to
hang out with at all. - the big self-checkout discount
One for the scanner,
one for me. One for the scan-
ner, seven for me. - morning setup
She plunks down the chairs
and tables before her crowd
of regulars comes. - my kingdom for a napkin
Many a clever
idea has fled the scene
before written down. - an autumnal nap
A soft chenille stands
a warm vigil atop my
dozing cheeks and nose. - high drama at the word factory
The editor bel-
lowed for more copy but with-
out hyphenations. - transcript unavailable
It was good to hear
from her even though it was
only a butt dial. - big little ethics
Is it really a
moral dilemma to wres-
tle with a small fib? - the careful addict
He played a deadly
game with pills and boredom, one
he would surely lose. - how we mock our friends
Fashion failures, cook-
ing disasters, boyfriend mis-
haps, silly choices. - at the checkout
We have so many
ways to pay with so little
in our bank accounts. - the light is perfect
The gentle way it
caresses your face, bathing
it in a warm hue. - social calls
Strangers blathering
on their fancy phones without
care for privacy. - make america great someday
The cure for rampant
nostalgia is to build a
better tomorrow. - you breathe when we tell you to breathe
We meditate and
chant and chant for an hour
oh is this a cult? - what comes after 60, 60, 24, 7?
Minutes and hours
are fixed, as are days and weeks.
But not months and years. - a simple reminder
Past due notices
become heavier with each
mental intrusion. - the slouch patrol
Proper posture puts
a positive panache on
poorly propped people. - when your phone don’t ring, it’ll be me
He waited for the
call that never came, a faux
pas of phone manners. - a broken oven, a busted dryer
Guess we’ll use the hot
plate and clothesline while saving
up for down payments. - a pile of small dead critters
The hunter of the
house makes an offering on
the doorstep altar. - social, up to a point
There is a limit
to accessibility
when we trust no one. - the oedipal/electra power hour
The best part of a
therapy session can be
blaming your parents. - the nightly grind
Involuntary
nocturnal mastication
makes for dental hell. - dream vacation vacation
Catching up on sleep
while taking a break from all
that relaxation. - would recommend
All the approval
we need comes from fans, experts
critics and our peers. - the five modern love languages
Emoji, Netflix
recommendations, puns, Yelp
reviews and dick pics. - chocolate chipsters
The best cookies are
inevitably ones we
split with an old friend. - no defense
No defense against
a torrent of stray thoughts and
bitter reprimands. - and also highlights
No waiting room is
complete without a set of
oddball magazines. - william kentridge on art
“I’m only an art-
ist. My job is to make draw-
ings, not to make sense.” - i love you unironically
More than my clothes. Much
more than my family. In
all sincerity. - the muse as crossfit coach
*throws you a ballpoint*
*expects you to write haiku*
*waits impatiently* - denial ain’t just a river of unconscious mimicry
Everyone does it.
No one will admit it. This
is our worst habit. - meditation hesitation
The bell rings … Breathe in,
breathe out. Breathe in, breathe— Time to
resume the rat race. - prodding questions
What are you about?
What is the meaning of life?
Gonna finish that? - above average
Everyone thinks they’re
a 10. Many are fives. Quite
a few are zeroes. - reassurance
A hand squeeze. A thank
you. A smiley face. A kind
and thoughtful remark. - the future of halloween
A drone disguised as
a ghost racks up more candy
than trick-or-treaters. - the sporadic to-do list
Walking in the door
I suddenly remember
all the missed errands. - fido’s best friend
Fido’s best friend is
another Fido, always
up for play and naps. - meet me halfway
We complete our work
more quickly when we decide
to share the burden. - the sickly maple
Dead leaves descended
long before the onset of
the autumnal change. - stride or die
She counted her steps
mile after mile till her sore
feet put their foot down. - this petty pace
Why should everyone
else find love and success while
I sit on my ass? - the value of everything
Can you put a price
on love? On happiness? On
sex? Yes, yes … and yes. - the borne identity
Do we reveal our
true selves by wearing costumes,
a trick and a treat? - in remembrance of
The marigolds and
sugar skulls whispered welcome
to restless spirits. - meditation in the kitchen
The fine chopping of
onions, the grating of cheese,
the zen of chewing. - the cold doesn’t suit her
Forget the shivers.
Give her a tropical warmth
and lots of sunscreen. - boarding passed
She missed her trip to
Canada: Her passport still
had her married name. - birthday bender
The journey of a
massive hangover begins
with a single shot. - room for doubt
What fun is it if
science has all the answers?
No such certainty. - the bridal slicker
They said their “I do’s”
to a chorus of thunder
and clattering rain. - path to wedded bliss
The spotlight shines on
the happy couple, waltzing
into the future. - slight privilege
The disenfranchised
cannot afford to ignore
the painful headlines. - hardware, software, nowhere
Upgrades as downgrades.
Isn’t tech supposed to make
our lives easier? - veni vidi vets
A pause to reflect.
They served in life and are well
remembered in death. - this tree is falling apart
The ground is littered
with discarded bark, fallen
limbs and bits of hope. - how do we mourn?
The unrepentant
grief creeps in at odd hours
for a longish stay. - the great brutish bake off
Ten lumberjacks make
pies and tarts for a panel
of churlish judges. - the dog will not be pleased
He found the hurdy-
gurdy in an antique shop,
keys worn but ready. - the holidays come and go
Never to early
to get a head start on your
Easter master plan. - impoverished wants
My nose is pressed to
the window, admiring
all I cannot have. - the checklist of misery
The social worker
asked about all the scary
things kept in closets. - a good walk enhanced
Merrily we hike
among the hills and forests
in the autumn sun. - a reverse benjamin button
What we think of as
old we suddenly become.
A wrinkle in time.
• • •
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